Wife - would you like to have some snacks?
Husband - hard disk full.

Wife - have you brought the saree.
Husband - Bad command or file name.

Wife - but I told you about it in morning
Husband - erroneous syntax, abort, retry,cancel.

Wife - hae bhagwan !forget it where’s your salary.
Husband - file in use, read only, try after some time.

Wife - at least give me your credit card, i can do some shopping.
Husband - sharing violation, access denied.

Wife - i made a mistake in marrying you.
Husband - data type mismatch.

Wife - you are useless.
Husband - by default.

Wife - what is my value in your life?
Husband - unknown virus detected.

Wife - do you love me or your computer?
Husband - Too many parameters.

Wife - i will go to my dad’s house.
Husband - program has performed an illegal operation,it will close.

Wife - I will leave you forever.
Husband – c

1. Marriage is not a word.
It’s a sentence (a life sentence).

2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.

3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor’s Degree and the woman gets her masters.

4. Marriage is a three-ring circus:

    engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.

5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the   
    woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.In the third year, they       
    both speak and the NEIGHBOUR listens.

6. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.You order what you want, and         
    when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that instead.

7. There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later   
    he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.

8. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.

9. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad? Father: I don’t know son, I’m still paying for it.

10. Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her.
     Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!

11. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

12. They say that when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is         
     self-defense.

13. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a 10-year married man looks happy,
     we wonder why.

14. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is
     going through HELL.

16. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

17. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America, the rest cheat in Europe.

18. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They just can’t face each other, but   
     they still  stay together.

19. Marriage is man and a woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

20. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After the marriage the "Y" becomes silent